A cup of coffee
Currently, I am working night-shifts here in Scottsdale, Arizona for an out-of-state project, and one of the first things I do before I report for work is stop by the local Safeway Starbucks and grab a cup of hot Java. The first few days, I would walk up to the counter and ask for a "Venti Coffee", and the salesgirl would go through her routine with a vacant smile and unseeing eyes.
"Room for cream?", she would ask me and I would reply, "Yes please". To finish up the routine, I would swipe my card, pour some cream, and exit hurriedly trying to make it to work on time.
But then as a couple of days passed, the smile became warm, and the eyes flashed recognition. "Venti Coffee", she would ask me as I stepped up to the counter. "Yes", I would say sheepishly, a little happy and a little embarassed at having been identified as the nutcase who drank huge amounts of coffee at night (she did not know I worked nights).
Identification also sparked small talk.
"Room for cream, right? Expecting a long night?", she asked smiling.
"Kinda, I am supposed to be working till morning", I tell her holding up the ID tag hanging from my neck. "Oh! That must be rough!"
"The coffee helps, so thank you.", I replied.
A stranger in a new town, somehow this "early night" chat helped me connect to a town that I felt as foreign, and suddenly I felt a bond with the town that had seemed alien earlier. The loneliness that I knew I would feel that night was alleviated at least for a time. Strange, what a little interest in a fellow human being can do.
What contradictory creatures are we: Human beings are said to be social creatures, but I feel the opposite is true too. Loneliness is part of our nature, and though we collaborate to achieve great things and seek comfort and joy in our friends and family, deep down we know the relationships we have are transitory and will change tomorrow. We hide within ourselves our deepest fears, our most intimate thoughts, and our most sensitive feelings, trying to insulate ourselves from the terrible pain that they can inflict.
The next day it was a different girl at the counter. I inquired after the last girl and was told that she had left that job. She had moved on. I thought about the long night ahead of me as the girl with the vacant smile and unseeing eyes handed me the coffee.
"Room for cream?", she would ask me and I would reply, "Yes please". To finish up the routine, I would swipe my card, pour some cream, and exit hurriedly trying to make it to work on time.
But then as a couple of days passed, the smile became warm, and the eyes flashed recognition. "Venti Coffee", she would ask me as I stepped up to the counter. "Yes", I would say sheepishly, a little happy and a little embarassed at having been identified as the nutcase who drank huge amounts of coffee at night (she did not know I worked nights).
Identification also sparked small talk.
"Room for cream, right? Expecting a long night?", she asked smiling.
"Kinda, I am supposed to be working till morning", I tell her holding up the ID tag hanging from my neck. "Oh! That must be rough!"
"The coffee helps, so thank you.", I replied.
A stranger in a new town, somehow this "early night" chat helped me connect to a town that I felt as foreign, and suddenly I felt a bond with the town that had seemed alien earlier. The loneliness that I knew I would feel that night was alleviated at least for a time. Strange, what a little interest in a fellow human being can do.
What contradictory creatures are we: Human beings are said to be social creatures, but I feel the opposite is true too. Loneliness is part of our nature, and though we collaborate to achieve great things and seek comfort and joy in our friends and family, deep down we know the relationships we have are transitory and will change tomorrow. We hide within ourselves our deepest fears, our most intimate thoughts, and our most sensitive feelings, trying to insulate ourselves from the terrible pain that they can inflict.
The next day it was a different girl at the counter. I inquired after the last girl and was told that she had left that job. She had moved on. I thought about the long night ahead of me as the girl with the vacant smile and unseeing eyes handed me the coffee.
posted by The Narcissist at 11:30 PM
2 Comments:
Do I know you, Narcissist?
-Poette
Ok, if you say so. The layout looked a little too much like mine (shall we say exactly like mine) and you even started calling it something similar- so it's a bit hard to believe you never saw mine before.
Anyway. Good luck.
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